I will no longer scrape the marrow from my bones

Make them hollow

So that you have a place to stay

Call these bones your home

While I am trying to make castles out of dirt

Mud

Clinging to the under nail

Like I cling to self worth

Because I know

That when my ravaged body falls to the ground you’ll keep going

Prey

Not on knees but on souls

Reaping riches from the twinkles in their eyes

Diamonds to you

Fashion a necklace of stolen joy

That dances in the light like they used to when they

Felt music from with within

You

Replaced the rosebuds the Lord planted in my cheeks

And left in my garden pale, dying weeds

Occupying my body

My temple

My home

When I didn’t even even invite you in

You didn’t knock

You slipped through the window on a night I didn’t lock it tightly

And when I tried to kick you out

You claimed squatters rights

Fed on my blood

Like I

Owed you half my portion

Well I’m tired

Of drawing the curtains

So that people can’t see the circles you leave under my eyes

I wanna let the sunshine in

They Notice the veins,

My withering foundation

Collapsing

I refuse to fall with them anymore

I’m not making excuses for you anymore

I won’t tell friends you just needed a place to stay

you’re just down on your luck

Figuring yourself out

Coming into your own

That mine was the only home with a vacancy

Because you’re choking me

There’s not enough room

in these walls

For the both of us

I am evicting you

So that

When everyone else sees beauty in me

I will see it too

I’ll see my smiling face in the mirror

Without you lurking behind me

With your shifting identities

They Call you self loathing

They Call you self consciousness

They Call you self hate

I’ll call you dead

Or better yet

I won’t call you at all

You never had a landline anyway



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